Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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