I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize