Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize