I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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