Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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