I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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