Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize