problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
