He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I deserve this hangover.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
