Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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