I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry about my life...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
