ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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