I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
