I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
