how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
