PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
