He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
soo... how was my night?
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