I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize