Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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