I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Help. Why am I so naked?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
