I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
