Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
