I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
