Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Boobs speak an international language.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have feelings that need drinking.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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