The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
