I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
