he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
