I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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