i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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