The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
