I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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