So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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