I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Randomize
