operation have a gay friend backfired
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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