The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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