Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
