btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
