I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
