I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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