Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
