it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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