i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize