they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We need to get me chipped asap
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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