Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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