its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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