You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
