right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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