did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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