I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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