I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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