a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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