I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Someone came in the potted fern
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
