I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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