He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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