Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
