Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
