Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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