i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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