i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
