Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
