He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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